This is my blogchalk: Philippines, Manila, Chinese, Filipino & English, Jaz, Female.
Monday, November 09, 2009
Gentlemen's Agreement
When money is at stake, There’s really no such thing as gentlemen’s agreement. That, We learnedtoday.
It’s depressing, Especially when you believed that the other party to the agreement would honor their words. But blame it on us, We’re too naïve. We really should’ve asked for something more concrete, more tangible. But what’s done is done…. I guess, next time, we just have to be lesstrusting. That, Or we reallyneed to be a lot moreprudent from now on.
It really is such a wonderful feeling, Being rid of a debt.
No moreworries of creditorscalling and showing up on you any time of the day. And most importantly, You get to sleep and restwell at night, At long last.
So if I were you, Settle your dues and be debt-freeASAP. It really does wonders for your mind and body =)
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child, And learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down midflight, After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much, so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers, And you learn that you really can endure That you really are strong and you really do have worth, And you learn and learn... With every goodbye you learn.
My mom has always been a strong and capable woman…. Physically, She is someone who hardly ever gets sick, Or if she ever does, Has quite an amazingpain threshold. Likewise, When it comes to her mental and emotional state, She is resilient and is very much capable of picking the right alternatives and choices, ALL THE TIME!
With that, I haven’t been one to worry ‘bout my mom. In fact, It has been etched on my mind that, She’ll always stay as energetic, strong & capable as I have always known her to be. Her image of strength and vitality is, I guess, my security blanket…. Something that says: She’ll always be there, my mom, and that I, won’t ever be alone.
But today, For the first time in years, As I watch my mom sleep, I noticed that a lot more whitehairs have grown out of her head than before…. Gone now was her jet-black hair, To be replaced by patches of silvery white threads. And that scared me.
For the first time in years, I’m coming to realize that, Though it’s hard to accept that, She’s already coming to her graying years.
My mom, Yes, IS getting old. And soon, I might need to face the fact that Iwon’t have her with me for as long as I want her to be…..
While much of the country has yet to recover from the onslaught of tropical storm Ondoy, Satellite forecasts of PAGASA shows yet another majorweather disturbance to hit the nation. This time it’s super typhoonPepeng. Yes, You read it right. It’s a SUPER.
But long before it is forecasted to hit the country, Pandemonium has broken loose as masses flock towards groceries and supermarkets, Hoarding shelve displaysand stocks of canned goods, packed noodles, breads, biscuits and such other food items, And causing the counter queue to take, like, almostforever. I should know. Coz it took me almost an hour just to reach the cashier! And I only have a couple of purchases on hand(some toiletries and household essentials), mind you!
And as if that’s not enough, I heard 2 womenarguing about who saw what item first! Uhm, No. I didn’t stayed around too long to listen to their unnecessaryverbal jabs; Though I expect, It probably was a good fightbrewing. Haha.
Seriously, If I only knew that I’m going to be met with such inconvenience, I wouldn’t have gone to the stores today. But really, Just what is it that spurred this sudden panic buying?
Is it the peril of the incoming storm? Or are we under an attack or war of some sort that I’m not even aware of? And given that we are, I don’t suppose it merits all these panic buying. I mean, It’s good to be prepared. But there’s a hell LOT of difference with being prepared and with being overreacting. And I think it’s only fitting to mention, That one’s panic buying and hoarding of items could put another in dire need. And if that’s really going to be the case, Kawawa naman yung mga talagang nangangailangan ng mga food items…. Mauubusan lang at walang mapagbibilhan dahil may mga swakaw na nagpupundar lang sa kani-kanilang mga bahay. Pfft.
*pics grabbed from my cousin's & friend's FB pages
So muchrubble. So manycasualties. Handful of liveslost. Countless still to be salvaged.
So shocking, so troubling, This aftermath of the storm. The worst might be over for some of us; Us ones who have been fortunate enough to be shelteredwarm and dry in shacks that withstood the perils of the mighty winds, continuous rains, and rising flood waters of Ondoy, And us ones who are blessed enough to have our loved ones right beside us to see us through our worries and fears. But for the many others who are not so fortunate enough, The nightmare lives on. So many displaced. So much losses. Starting over, a seeminglyimpossible challenge.
But you know what? Nothing’s impossible. At least, Not in this country. The outpouring of assistance, love and support, Be it in whatever form, Is really something other parts of the world have yet to witness of their own. You cannotNOT be touched, Even as you simply watch and read the news, internet and TV coverages as opposed to experiencing it LIVE. I say, If those images and stories can stir my heart even as I am simply here at home in front of the TV and computer, What more would it be if I was OUT THERE?! Am sure it’ll totally break my heart. And it’ll break yours as well.
Young and old, Rich or poor, Friends or foes, Everyone has their arms outstretched. Everyone is helping everyone in any way they can. From prayers to provisions of food and basic commodities, To cash donations, To voluntary relief and rescue efforts, Nothing seems to be too precious to share.
So please, Join me in my prayers for those in need. And let us ask the Lord for strength…. For them that needs rescue, And for those who are risking their lives to rescue others.
And please, Join me in reaching out…. Help should NEVER be in shortage at this time. We all have something we can part for them in need.
The last time I’ve seen or experienced this type of flooding was probably about…hmmm…2decades ago! I know that this type of a scenario isn’t exactly unusual in certain areas here in Metro Manila; Like some places in Malabon and Navotas, to name a few, Which happens to be pretty much flooded all through-out the year, But to be seeing waist-high or chest-high floodwaters on areas that usually do not get past ankle level-high, Is really horrifying. And what’s really bothering is, Tropical storm Ondoy has yet to weaken as of this time! It’s still blowing and raining like crazy out in the open. And yes, Probably inside some of our shelters as well, as drips and leaksthreaten to cause madness to us citizens at home, And making us scramble for containers, pails, pots, pans and whatever there is that could contain those roof or ceilingsecretions from spilling further into the floorings. At times like these, You could only look up your roofs, ceilings, walls and sigh, What a waste of preciouspaint, gypsum or hardiflex boards! Don’t you just wish you could shout and order the storm to take a “time-out” from its huffing, puffing & spewingfury? Yeah. We’re on the same boat, you people inside your houses. Sigh. But on the other hand, Don’t you feel comforted and somewhat blessed by the fact that, At least, You’re sheltered, dry and warm. Unlike some unfortunateothers who have to stay upon their roofs, Wet, cold, and hungry, Because flood waters have surged into their homes, threatening their lives? And those, Still stuck out on the road, Like my beloved mom, Treading and braving the treacherous flood waters? All needing immediaterescue and relief operations. Aye. We’re still lucky.
Please. Join me in my prayers…. Let’s pray for some reprieve from the storm…. Let’s pray for those in need that they may have the strength to withstand all of this…. And let’s pray for the safety of those selflessmen & women of the rescue and relief operations as they brave the storm and help those in need.
It makes this 160cmbody structurecurl up into the size of a stretched-outsix year older in bed. And it makes me, a lass of 47kg, unable to steadilypick up even just a full glass of water. Yes. If there’s anything prescription meds can do for you, It’s definitely that. W-E-A-K
I hope dearly that whatever my doc prescribed for me works just as fast as it works hard, To rid me of this stubbornailment I have, So that I can get back up, strong in no time. Coz really, I hate being weak…. Can’t stand being this weak….
Am at a loss for a blog topic. It’s been a couple of weeks past the last post I made, And still there’s nothing… Not one bit of something worthy of a post. Pfft. What’s with life these days? Nothing seems to be happening to / around me the way it used to. What’s with me these days? Nothrills, nofrills, Not one teensy-weensy bit of drama. Nothing to rant or rave about particularly… Not one spur of emotions.
Life just suddenly grew cold and grey on me, I guess, Or did it really?
Or maybe, I just simply turned old And yes, Turned pretty darn boring.
I wanna believe that there are a lot of GOODgovernment employees out there who uphold the values of integrity and humility, But I am constantly being disappointed.
Now just because they work for one of the most-feared government agencies here in the country, They, in their twisted state of mind, Think, that they have, or somehow, earned the right to take advantage of others for their personalconvenience, gain or gratification?! Pfft. If there’s a sure-fire way of destroying the government agency’s image, It’s by having these types of people around! Pfft.
Public servants daw sila…. Well, I don’tseeany. I mean, Where’s the humble and selfless spirit of a truepublic servant in them? Where?! And to think that I, we, the populace, is, actually, paying for their gawddamn salaries and wages! Hmph!
But then again, I may just be inebriated… After all, Am on my 3rdglass of this Lambrusco wine And I have no intention of stopping just yet I love how it’s so smooth & delicate, Yet it feels and burns….
Burns… Hah! I am so getting what I’m asking for…. But aren’t we all so stubborn when it comes to love? That, No matter how many times we get hurt, We keep coming back for more?
Pfft. How pathetic. For me to, Once again, Trudge on love’s one-way street.
I remember clearly that faithful day in 1986 where the country won back its democracy from the grasp of a dictator…. Not through firearms and violent demonstrations, But by prayers and rosaries.
Corazon C. Aquino’s inauguration as the First Lady President of the Philippines still reverberate in my ears…. How a simplehousewife was able to topple a regime of martial law never ceases to amaze me. And neither does the multitudes of people that always seem to come together for her and for whatever cause(s) that she stands for.
So what does this simple housewife, Mrs. Cory Aquino, have that draws people, the entire nation, out on the streets? Whether it’s young or old, The rich and the poor, The good and yes, even the rotten ones, They all seem to come together as one. Cory’s magic, they say. Well, You can call it that, Or perhaps, Her charm or charisma, But I believe, It’s her character and her virtues that captivates us…. That earned her a special spot in our hearts, Whether we know of her personally or not. I, for one, did not have the privilege of knowing her. And I, much like the majority of Filipinos, May have only heard and read about her goodness through stories and news, Or probably, May have seen of her devotion to the Almighty and her love for the country through television or news image clippings, But somehow, I feel, that I connect to her personally. So now that she has gone to join our Heavenly Father, I feel what a person feels when he/she loses a loved one….. Grieved and saddened…. I believe the same goes for the millions of Filipinos here and abroad.
Mrs. Aquino may not have been the greatest or the most capable president of the country, But she will go down in history as the greatest moral leader the country has ever known. And if there’s one person here in the country who is well-loved and dearly respected by all, It is Mrs. Corazon C. Aquino. Yes, That even in her death, she still summonsmasses to the streets and churches.
My condolences to all our Filipino brothers. May we not lose heart and forget the example that she had shown us: To keep our Faith on the Almighty One, and; To live and lead a life that is morally uprightand just.
I was watching NBC news just now and they featured something that definitelycaughtmyattention; It’s a clip found in Youtube that has everyonetalking:
I wonder how my mom and my guests ‘ll react should my wedding entourage and I have that kind of a march‘stead of the traditional one. Hmm…. They might just keel over. Hahaha
I don’t have a problem with people who spend their doughs. After all, it fuels the economy and helps in stabilizinginflation. But I do find it disturbing to hear / see people with measlyincome / profits, or, Those who have ampledebts that have yet to be settled, Spend away their monies for things that are, should I say, rather unnecessary. I mean, Do you REALLY need to spend thousands of pesos for a bottle of perfume whose value just evaporates in a matter of hours after using, when you couldn’t even pay for your lunch? Do you REALLY need all those COSTLYbeauty products that promise you of a fairer and better-looking skin, when people don’t even notice the slightest bit of difference even after you’ve washed away your pennies from regular use? Do you REALLY need to livelavishly when you are up to your heads on debts and obligations?
The answer is NO. There’s no NEED for any of those. You simply need to take a good bath, put-on deodorant to smell nice. You simply need to take a wide variety of fruits and vegetables, maintain a clean lifestyle, have ample of rest, and put-on sunblock to get good skin. Oh, don’t forget to smile and have a hearty laugh to maintain your youthful glow as well. And yes, There’s definitely no need to live like a king when your pockets have only as much as that of a poor beggar’s. Coz this I tell you, Sooner or later, Your creditors are bound to catch up on you. And when that time comes, You’ll have nothing. Not even a good name and reputation, yours.
I received anotherjob offer (AVP – Finance & Admin) from a group of companies today. And once again, I did what I did a couple of months before…. I declined the offer.
NUTS… I must’ve totally gone mad, you say. That’s a nifty thing to turn down…. A nice corporate title there --- Assistant Vice President Possibly a great-lookingoffice, And a heftycompensation with loads of benefits to go with it as well!
It’s tempting, I know, Most especially when times are rough, Opportunities are scarce, And money is so hard to come by.
But I’ve made up my mind. I’m done (at least for now) with corporate work. Sure I may still crave for the action-packed moments of corporate life; Damn sure still dream of being that top corporate honcho with that shiny nameplate on the table; And that life full of blings, every once in a while, But I’m good….. I’m getting by, And I’m loving the moments I have now that I previouslynever had, Or should I rather say, Those pricelessmother-daughter moments that I’ve obviously sacrificed in exchange for recognitionand a full pocket.
Yes. Times have changed. I have changed. Where I once felt happy, Now I decline.
Just when I finally get to dream of numbers; Something that has NEVER happened to me ever before, That is, Until last night, I had to wake up and find myself totallyunable to recallthe set of 6numbers that graced my dreams!! Dammit! Those 6 numbers could just very well be the nextlucky draw in the mega lotto! Darn….
Despite his multiple allegations of child molestation & improperbehavior, And his rather, uhm, shall I say, Colorful, Physicaltransformation, You can’t discount the fact that he’s one of the greatestacts the world has ever known… Michael Jackson. The King of Pop. Who could ever forget “Thriller” The top-selling album of all time, selling more than 40million copies worldwide?! I know I can’t. Have always loved him… In “Billy Jean”, In “Beat It”, In “The Way You Make Me Feel”, In “Smooth Criminal”, In “Heal The World”, In “Black Or White”, Oh the list just goes on! Too BAD though that it ain’t gonna be going a whole lot longer, As news got out that Michael Jackson, aged 50,died of cardiac arresttoday. Sigh…. Gone too soon, he did. May he rest in peace….
If I could have it myway, I wouldn’t be working for my mom’sbiz, Or should I rather say, I don’t wanna workfor HER.
It’s rather depressing that I am not in the profession that I so want myself to be in right now, So having to work for someone, like my mom, who is pig-headed and who refuses to even listen to any of my comments / suggestions, Can be, to be really honest, Vexing. No, make that valium-inducing!
I know my mom’s business sense is good. Her expertise in managing the biz (coming from the number of years that she’s in business) adds to her credit as well, But there are just someareas that can take a little tweaking or two, Thus, My comments and suggestions.
But rather than hearing out what I had to say, And considering the points I made, She shots it down. Bang! There goes my 2-cents. Now, not only that…. I get shot at in front of a live audience. Bang! Bang! Just great…. We lost her…..my ego, that is. Gawd. How I hate her sometimes.
What is it about comments & suggestions or new ideas that she couldn’t take? Is she feeling insecure because I have some ideas where she doesn’t? Or is she simply irritated to have to listen to someone younger; someone like her own daughter? Really, I don’t get her. What’s there for her to be insecure and angry about? She, the illiterate one, is the one who has a running business, and not me, the educated one. And with that, Can’t she feel proud of herself and of her achievements? And somehow realize the amount of pressure I bear each day; having to live off from her and not be able to stand on my own and have my ownenterprise? Sigh.
Tell me, How do you bring the old & the new together without it killing each other? For now, I don’t know. My thoughts are blank. But perhaps, I’d find the answerdown the road.
You know what I hate about having to take the public transport? It’s the fact that you’ll chance upon scoundrels, And meet a lot of jerks, jackasses, and bastards.
Just today, A drunk/addict took the same ride with me. The jeepney only had a total of 4passengers…. Me, 2 other ladies, and the schmuck. While there is way too much space for us 4 passengers on that ride that could seat about 16 people, The schmuck had to sit uneasily close to me! I know I’m not that type of a person who likes to be in close contact with strangers, But I can usually tolerate situations that calls for shoulder-to-shoulder, elbow-to-elbow, or thigh-to-thigh closeness (e.g. public transport, concert grounds, flea markets). But this one, My gawd, He reeks of booze and sweat and devil-might-know-what-else there is! So I moved a couple of seats AWAY from him, But surprise surprise, He moved alongside me as well! Then not only that, He kept much closer… So close that there’s literally no space, not the tiniest, even for an ant. Now if that didn’t make me tick, His next actions did, He placed his hand on my thigh! Gritting my teeth, I sharplywarned: “Tanggalin mo yang kamay mo at umurong ka ng pwesto!” But he had the audacity to slide his hands up and down my thigh! What I did next came as a surprise to all the other lady passengers and even to the driver (he stopped driving to look back at the spectacle I am causing)… I took the umbrella I had in my other hand and stabbed it into his upper thigh, While shouting: “Pag di ka tumigil sa kabastusan mo, matatamaan yang mukha’t ari mo ng payong na to!” And if that wasn’t enough, I stared the man down when he shot me a murderous look. Defeated, He can only shift towards the other side of the jeepney where the 2 ladies sat. Instinctively, The 2 ladies shifted to my side of the ride. Hahaha.
You must think me crazed to be so “tapang” But I assure you, If you are sick and having a rough day just like I did, I betcha, No one should be messing with you either. =)
I’ve been sick for over a week now. No, don’t worry… I’m not SUPER sick anymore as to be required to be bedridden still. In fact, I have been going back to manning our business since Monday morn, And I’ve quit taking all my heavy-dose medications (it wasn’t working that well anyway). And boy! Does it feel nice and wonderful to be rid of those prescription drugs that, I know, are supposed to make one get better, but actually makes a person feelso much worse!
But if there’s onemedication that I am so notabandoning at this time, It’s definitely going to be my cough syrup. Coz there’s no way I am going to sound like the crazy-wheezing-barking dog that I was earlier back at the public transport that I rode, That stole everyone’s attention, Zipped every mouth, And delayed all breathing rhythms of those of my co-passengers. Yes. No one within a foot of me dared to breathe, Or should they do, They all had their nosescovered. Sheyt. I was so mortified. Such an embarrassment I was! Nakakahiya! If only I knew that I would be having that cough attack, I would’ve brought my own car and spared all from my rather fluidperformance! (thus sparing myself from that horrible embarrassment as well!)
Sigh. It’s difficult to have a cough, But it’s so much more difficult to have it at a time when there’s an outbreak of Influenza A (H1N1)! People instinctively and automatically stay clear of you, Whether or not it is just regular cough or that which is brought along by an epidemic.
Now if there’s one thing I’ve learned today, It is that… Coughing in the season of A H1N1 is fatal, Fatal to my ego, that is! Sigh.
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